From Baby to Beauty...

On December 22, 1998, I got to see my beautiful little girl Savannah Noelle for the first time. While in the hospital in labor I remember being so terrified about what was going to happen that day because of Ashton's extremely traumatizing birth. Brandon and Matt gave me a blessing that morning and I remember feeling so much better. They had started my labor that morning because they didn't want the baby to be as big as Ashton was...this was a week before my due date. Brandon and I were so excited for our little Christmas baby and so excited for our first little girl. I remember suddenly feeling pressure (in spite of having a very effective epidural) and wanting to push. I told the nurse and she told me that there was no way I was ready and that she had just checked me twenty minutes ago and that I still had a long way to go. I told her to check again! She begrudgingly did and to her surprise it was definitely time to push. She called the doctor and much to my chagrin I was told "Do not push! The Doctor is in the check-out line at K-Mart and you need to wait for him because you already paid him to deliver this baby." I was mad! I wanted to push! I wanted to see my baby girl. The nurse stayed with me and checked me the whole time. I could see her getting nervous and realizing that if the Doctor didn't get there soon...I was going to have the baby anyway. I could already feel her head. The Doctor rushed in put on his gloves.. I pushed twice and she was born.!!

She was beautiful. She had the softest rosy skin and wispy dark blond hair and she smelled so so good. They put her up on top of me while they cleaned her off and she stopped breathing..I could see her trying so hard to take a breath and I almost passed out with fear. Her little lips turned blue and it seemed like I was the only one in the room in a state of severe panic. FINALLY she took a big breathe in and screamed. It was the best sound I had ever heard. Brandon and I both cried. She was and is such a little miracle.

I remember bringing her home and putting her little car seat with her in it under the Christmas tree and taking a picture. The best little Christmas gift ever.

That first night was cute. Ashton snuck into our room in the middle of the night and laid down on the floor next to Brandon's side of the bed. Brandon got up in the middle of the night and almost stepped on him. Ashton asked him if he still loved him too...now that we had a new baby. It was so cute but heart-braking too. Ashton and Savannah soon became best friends. I remember her and Ashton playing when she was about 8 months old. He would pick her up and put her into his over-sized Tonka dump truck and push her around the house. She would just sit there and laugh and have the best time. And Ashton was always so careful and took the best care of her.

Savannah was a good baby and that hasn't changed. She is truly a good person and sweet in every way. When she was a little girl she loved to play dress up and wear make-up. She had the whitest-blond hair and every morning she would come in and wake Brandon and I up and her hair would be in the craziest mess I had ever seen. The sun would shine through that crazy mess of blond hair and because of that and her sweet and happy personality we started calling her Savannah Sunshine.

I am so grateful for her and the beautiful young woman she has become. She is my biggest helper and is so considerate of my feelings in hard situations. She is absolutely talented in everything she does and I don't say that lightly. She is amazing at everything she does and everything she touches turns to gold. She learns so fast and is a straight A student. I look forward to watching her grow up and seeing what she accomplishes in life. She is going to go so far.

Savannah...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU are amazing and I love you with all of my heart.

With love,

Mom



-Seacrest Out

Obedience comes first...

This caught my eye today...

"At times we may rationalize that the Lord will understand our disobedience because our special circumstances make adherence to His laws difficult, embarrassing, or even painful. However, faithful obedience, regardless of the apparent size of the task, will bring the Lord's guidance, assistance, and peace." Bruce A. Carlson

On another note...Hope you are all enjoying this beautiful snowy day. We now have a giant sized snowman and snow tunnel in our yard, thanks to magnificent snow sculptors Savannah and Avery Thomas!! Great job girls! :)

Friends Come and Gone....

GRATEFUL! That pretty much sums it up!

Last Friday started out bad. This time of year should be one of happiness, family, Christmas cheer and thoughts of the Saviour. But sometimes during this time of year it's much easier to get caught up in stress and worry. To be honest I wasn't feeling "Christmasy" on Friday. The stress was heavy. I think good parents always want to provide happy memories and a bounteous and joyful Christmas for their children and feel the pressure to do so. Being a single parent I was feeling this pressure in a very acute sort of way. I worry that my children will miss out on the happiness. I know they feel pain because their parents aren't together. Holidays like this always hold a sting for children of divorce. Sometimes the guilt from knowing my children are in pain is almost unbearable. Then there is the financial pressure of providing "Christmas" on one part-time income on top of the regular everyday pressure of "providing" and the day-to-day taxiing, homework, school and friend issues, working on things like Faith in God and Scouts, and trying to be there emotionally for your children. Add to that feelings of loneliness and loss of friendship and you have a recipe for a bad day. I'm not trying to write a depressing post, in fact the opposite. Let me tell you how this day changed for me. I believe it was inspired.

The day had been long and I admit to feelings of despair. Later in the afternoon I was busily engaged in folding laundry with the world sitting squarely on my shoulders. Tears suddenly came and I was feeling the weight of that world. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that the phone was ringing... but being lost in thought I let someone else answer it. Then I heard someone telling me to pick up the phone and that the call was for me. I didn't want to get caught feeling sorry for myself and wasn't excited to talk. So I picked up the phone grudgingly, wiped away my tears and said hello. The voice said "Barb, its your long lost friend.." I immediately recognized her voice as one of my best friends from the past whom I had lost contact with and hadn't heard from in over five years. We had been so close. Our families had gone camping together, played games together and been there for each other during hard times. As we talked and caught up, and as I briefed her on my life over the last five years I was overcome with the love and concern I heard in her voice and we cried together. We talked for over an hour and when I hung up I was absolutely overcome with gratitude for her friendship, love and support and that she had "hunted me down".

I recently read a quote by Chris Karcher "God is always at work, even- especially- in our brokeness." I believe that with all of my heart. That call buoyed me up, made me feel loved, and brightened my outlook considerably. It was a balm to my soul. Such a small thing, but for me was so large. During our call she mentioned how she had felt the need to find me for a few months... but I know, she called me on exactly the right day. I know Someone is watching over us. And my heart is full.

This Christmas really has been full of miracles for myself and my family. The author of "The Hiding Place" Corrie ten Boom once said " Every experience God gives us, every person he puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see." How true that is. I have been truly blessed with "experience" and "people" and can see that quote come to life as I look back at my life.

I am going to focus on the blessing of "people". We take risks when we make friends, and sometimes we love people who don't love us back and we lose friends whom we thought were true. But I think it only makes us more grateful for the ones who are. My family, my friends the new and the old....my "peeps" LOL ;) have been there for me. I have received help and support in unexpected ways this Christmas and I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for being inspired for my family, showing and sharing your love and being there for us. I am so lucky. Life is good, bounteous and full.

A special shout-out to you...Sister Lele. Where would I be without you? I love you so. XOXO

It is my prayer that all of you feel this kind of love and support this year during Christmas. And that we can all remember that that is the most important gift we can give as well.

ok...ok... I'm going to quite boobing... next post is gonna be silly...I promise! ;)

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!

-Seacrest out

Road Maps and Directions...and Choices

"Not all will follow the map [Heavenly Father has given us]. They may look at it. They may think it is reasonable, perhaps even true. But they do not follow the divine directions. Many believe that any road will take them to a 'happily ever after.' Some may even become angry when others who know the way try to help and tell them. They suppose that such advice is outdated, irrelevant, out of touch with modern life."Sisters, they suppose wrong." Dieter F. Uchtdorf,

These road maps and directions are not there for decoration. They are there to guide us onto a path of happiness. Let me attest to this. We are not truly happy unless we are heeding the words and commandments of our Heavenly Father. Anyone who has dangled a toe into something else and then has come back, knows this is true. Anyone who has not come back....it's time.

I feel truly blessed today to be a mother. My heart yearns to provide my children with the tools and resources they will need to make it home to our Father in Heaven. These four little "amazings" inspire me everyday to conquer my natural man. A daunting task. But one worth doing. A close friend once said "D'ya ever feel like the journey that you travel when you choose to "take the high road" has jagged rocks, twists, turns, pot holes and gully washes?"

YES!! I do! I also think it's lonely, hot and dusty! But today....I'm choosing it! And my family will be better for it.

On a slightly different but related note, today I acutely miss a very inspired friend. A friend who is far away. A friend that no matter what will always hold a place in my heart. A friend who changed my life and made me a better person for knowing him. A friend who always made me feel good and inspired me to always do right just by knowing him. I'm better for knowing you. To you I say....Thank You SM.

~Seacrest out

My four little "Amazings" for whom I strive to be inspired.

Alive

Yes. We are still alive. Alive and feeling great! What a year this has been and look how much has changed. As I take a minute to think about all of the things that my little family and I have gone through these past months, I am taken aback with a sense of pride and a deep sense of calm. Alive. That says it all.

Here we are and we are here because of the tender guidance from a kind and loving Heavenly Father. I felt His hand leading me and lifting me up through things I could not have possibly done alone. He has surrounded me with an amazing support system of friends, neighbors, and loved ones. They are the safety net that has so often caught me on my way down, lifted me up and gently set me back upright. He has opened windows for me when doors were slammed in my face. He has performed miracles on the behalf of my children in many ways, but especially through the amazing people who have crossed their paths this year in Oak City. His love has brought back to life my emaciated heart and put our little family back together in ways I cannot fully describe in words. I am profoundly grateful.

The miracle, to me looking back, is the lessons that I have learned. Lessons that seemed absolutely unlearnable or incomprehensible. But therein lies the key. Learning is the most concentrated in times of absolute stress, indescribable grief and life-altering loss. And many times we learn from these situations in unexpected and surprising ways. I could list so many times this has happened to me during the past 5 years. But I won't write a book. I will just state without a doubt that these happenings are "tender mercies" from a kind and loving Heavenly Father. I have asked myself so many times "Why me?" "Why is this my life?" "Why was this my lesson?" I still don't have the answer to those questions. But I do know that because of these past few years I am a stronger person. I have more compassion for others and I have an "understanding" that I could not have had before or without my life experiences. And so for that I will be eternally grateful. And those are words I could not have said a year ago.

This is my beautiful family. My treasure.....


-Seacrest Out.

Babies...I love you...

AsHtOn!
SaVanNaH!
GrAcIe!
AvErY!


I have no words for this post other than.....I still wanted a picture of my beautiful family. Ashton, Savannah, Gracie, and Avery are my ultimate treasure. Everything I do, I do for them. They are extremely precious and dear to my heart. Babies...I love you...

The Harvest

So....it was All Hallows Eve....LOL! The Twiggy and Bubba were once again reunited on tribal lands for the annual harvest. Although this time they came as John Smith and Pocahontas! The Harvest was sweet and the house was oh-so-haunted, but in spite of it all, the Twiggy and the Bubba returned again to their tee-pee's and gave thanks for this years spoils across a fire of a twenty five year friendship!